February 18, 2007

Amanda's Rezumay

Iowahawk has posted a malicious, gut-busting résumé of the late, great Amanda Marcotte, briefly a blogger for the Breck Girl, John Edwards. Andrea resigned after some tasteless anti-Catholic rants from her personal blog surfaced.

Here's a bit of the rezumay:

St. Edwards University, Austin TX (B.A., honors, 1999). Major: English. Upper division coursework included Feminist Theory (A); Feminist Physics (A); Principles of Feminist Accounting (B+). Strong classwork performance earned nickname of "Cum Laud." Senior Thesis: "The Imperialism of Gender (Casse)Roles: Toward a Deconstructive Feminist Hermuenetics of Postwar Betty Crocker Cookbooks"

Alpine High School, Alpine Texas (1995). Earned diploma despite being surrounded by repulsive hillbilly redneck Texas football godbags. YEEEE-HAWWW!!! Sweet lordy JEEEEZUSSSS we gunna win the big game aginst Permian cuz we been prayin to Robert Tilton to save all them poor lil' fetuses!! So we can turn 'em into Jeebus lovin' 'merkin killbots!! And lissin to some shit-kickin' Toby Keith!! And then we gunna drive by the alienated poetry club goth girl in our pickup trucks and make fun of her and never ask her to prom or realize that she has feelings and is dealing with father issues and can't wait to get out of this goddamn redneck shithole and move to Austin where some people actually appreciate non-conformity. YEEE HAWWW!!!


Alpine High Pepsterettes 1,2
President, Alpine High Sylvia Plath Club 3,4
The Sylvia Plath Club? Priceless.

Read, comme on dit, the whole thing.

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