Chiquita Pays Protection Money

As a small child, I learned to sing,

I'm Chiquita Banana
And I'm here to say
Bananas like to ripen in special way.

You can put them in a salad
You can bake them in a pie-aye-aye
But no matter how you eat 'em
It's impossible to beat 'em.

When they are flecked with brown
And have a golden hue
Bananas are the best
And are the best for you.

Bananas like the climate
Of the very very tropical equator,
So never put bananas
In the refrigerator.
O no no no no!

Now, apparently, Chiquita has been paying off thugs of various persuasions to let her grow her brown-flecked marvels.

Puritanical American law prohibits this kind of realism, so Chiquita is paying up.

WASHINGTON — Chiquita Brands International Inc. said Wednesday that it would pay a $25-million fine to settle a long-running Justice Department investigation of whether it knowingly paid "protection" money to Colombian paramilitary and rebel groups designated by the U.S. as terrorist.

Singing:

Chiquita likes tranquility
To cultivate her tropical garden.
She paid baksheesh and plead guilty;
Does she now await a Presidential pardon?
Oh say it ain't so!