March 15, 2007

Chiquita Pays Protection Money

As a small child, I learned to sing,
I'm Chiquita Banana
And I'm here to say
Bananas like to ripen in special way.

You can put them in a salad
You can bake them in a pie-aye-aye
But no matter how you eat 'em
It's impossible to beat 'em.

When they are flecked with brown
And have a golden hue
Bananas are the best
And are the best for you.

Bananas like the climate
Of the very very tropical equator,
So never put bananas
In the refrigerator.
O no no no no!
Now, apparently, Chiquita has been paying off thugs of various persuasions to let her grow her brown-flecked marvels.

Puritanical American law prohibits this kind of realism, so Chiquita is paying up.
WASHINGTON — Chiquita Brands International Inc. said Wednesday that it would pay a $25-million fine to settle a long-running Justice Department investigation of whether it knowingly paid "protection" money to Colombian paramilitary and rebel groups designated by the U.S. as terrorist.
Chiquita likes tranquility
To cultivate her tropical garden.
She paid baksheesh and plead guilty;
Does she now await a Presidential pardon?
Oh say it ain't so!

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