"One of the most suspenseful moments in modern journalism came to an end today, when The New York Times, after months of coy beating around the bush, came out for Senator Kerry."
His White House source was shocked:
"Asked if the Times endorsement was costly, the source replied candidly, 'Why yes. We were really counting on the Times to deliver their numberless hoard of readers who have been enslaved to the paper so long that they do the Sunday Crossword in ink.'"
Surely you can't be satirizing America's Newspaper of Record. Tsk, tsk!
Perhaps they had before them a penetrating biographical piece on Kerry. By a brilliant young African-American journalist, Jayson Blair.
In the tradition of Walter Duranty.
This reminds me of an old story my father used to tell:
A young Irish lad goes off from his village to university. Upon his return for vacation, the lad tells the local priest he's become an atheist. "I'm certain," said the father, "that when the news reaches the Holy Father in Rome, he'll be mightily distressed."
When Karl Rove hears the news about the Times endorsement of Kerry, I'm certain he'll have at least five seconds of heartburn.