February 15, 2008

Could I 'ave That Rabbit Chow With a Bit Less Jew In't, Then?

Western Lent having begun, the stores are stocking up with tooth-destroying rabbit gear.

Not to be outdone, Hamas TV has launched a new kids' character, Assud the Rabbit, successor to Farfour the Mouse. Assud not only loves his country and hates Jews and Zionists, but promises to eat the wily bastards:

Saraa Barhoum: "Of course, Assud. We will liberate Al-Aqsa from the filth of those Zionists."

"I, Assud, Will Get Rid of the Jews, Allah Willing, and I Will Eat Them Up"

Saraa Barhoum [to girl in the audience]: "Is there anything you want to share with us?"

Girl: "Arnoub ['Rabbit']?"

Saraa Barhoum "His name is Assud ['Lion']."

Girl: "How come you are called Assud, even though you look like a rabbit?"

Assud: "Because a rabbit is not good. He's a coward. But I, Assud, will get rid of the Jews, Allah willing, and I will eat them up, Allah willing, right?

This new carnivorousness raises many questions:
  • Do Jews, like rattlesnakes, taste like chicken?
  • Is Assud related to the pro-apartheid rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter?
  • What if your rabbit won't eat people? Is he Brunswick stew?
  • Is the flesh of a rabbit fed on pork-eating Jews halal?
  • When the lion lays down with the lamb, will they be munching on clover, or Jew?
So many questions, so little time.

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