I can hear the rumble of the jackbooted feet going up the stairs, and the "swish swish" of the slippered feet going down.
The soldiers went to search his bedroom. He heard laughing, and then they called for him, he said. Imaad went to his room and saw that the soldiers had found several magazines he kept hidden from his mother. They had pictures of girls in swimsuits and erotic poses. Imaad said the soldiers spread the magazines on his bed and put his Koran in the middle.
Bet you weren't expecting that, thriller fans! Stephen King, eat your goddamn heart out!
"It was a nightmare," he said. "I will never forget those bad soldiers when they put the Koran among the magazines."
Sure they did. And then Iyad Allawi shot everybody.
Within 20 minutes, the soldiers left without arresting him or his mother.
Why would they? They aren't the Taliban. Now we reach a section of the tale that, to be frank, does not reflect well on "mild-mannered" Imaad:
While the soldiers went next door to search his neighbor's house, Imaad began to slap his mother, he said. "The American people are devils," Um Imaad recalled her son repeating.
So kids, remember. If Mama finds your porn stash, kick her good and hard to the solar plexus. She'll learn to hate the American devils!
And if your dog throws up, remember why the Lord made the Washington Post.